


The Diary Of Lydia, Housecarl To The Esteemed Dragonborn

by Rhymefire



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Diary, Funny, Journal, Parody, poor Lydia she tries so hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-01-19 22:20:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12419436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhymefire/pseuds/Rhymefire
Summary: Dear Diary,I have an appointment as a housecarl! When I heard she was a Khajiit, I thought I'd be following a merchant caravan. Instead I met her and discovered she's the Dragonborn! I'm so lucky!Edit: I'd rather be following a merchant caravan.





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

I am working hard in my training. The dragons are coming back and we need able warriors now more than ever. All my time is spent in the palace, studying hard. So far I have mastered one-handed weapons and the shield. I am honing my skills towards the protection of my future thane. I figure that every party needs a tank, so that's the role I should fill. At first, I thought about learning restoration magic, but what if my future thane is a healer? Two healers is no good, but anything goes well with a tank. If I somehow get a tank to protect, worse parties have been put together.

Today a khajiit came from Riverwood with news of a dragon attack. I am worried about the people there, but there is nothing I can do right now. 

 

Dear Diary,

The dragon has come to Whiterun! I wanted to go out and help fight, but my request was denied. I can't believe I'm stuck here. Instead some stupid guards get the opportunity to fight a dragon. Can you believe that? I'd love to see one up close. What a shame. Ferengar has to stay here too. We spent the day drinking ale by the fire and moping. It was very cathartic. He can't hold his alcohol very well. Did you know that when Ferengar gets drunk, he becomes very interested in telling people all about his studies concerning soul gems? I now know more about them I ever wanted to.

 

Dear Diary,

Oh joyous day! My time has finally come! The dragon was slain by the khajiit warrior. I am told that she is dragonborn and that I will serve as her housecarl. I can't wait. I've been polishing my armour, honing my sword and double-checking everything. I'm all prepared to meet my thane. My thane. Ha! I knew my years of training would pay off. I wonder what she'll be like? Obviously, she's incredible, but what kind of incredible? A few of my fellows that are still in training are skeptical about her being a khajiit, but I won't hear anything bad about her. They can keep their ridiculous prejudices to themselves. They're just jealous because they were passed over.

 

Dear Diary,

I have met my thane. Her name is Dar'Rayya. At first, she did not seem very impressed with me. She looked me up and down and made an odd mrrrring sound. I have never been able to be so close to a Khajiit. It turns out they're adorable! Her ears perked up and she gave me the Axe of Whiterun. The jarl gave it to her from his own personal armoury! At first, I couldn't believe it. Then she gave me some steel enchanted armour that she'd made herself. Then she said, "That will do for now. You follow Dar'Rayya, yes?" I had no idea she was a mage, but she doesn't have a staff or robes. Maybe she dabbles in enchanting? She carries a bow and light armour, so she must be a rogue. Clearly, my decision to be a tank was the right one.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

My thane (she insists I call her Dar'Rayya, but at least I can show her proper respect in my diary) is a mercenary. She is very talkative, but is also very good at not saying anything. All I really know about her is her name, that she is the Dragonborn and that she is khajiit. I only know she's a mercenary because she has been looking for jobs in the city. So far, she's accepted one bounty (bandits), agreed to get a sword back (more bandits) and delivered some frost salts. I assume we'll be meeting up with the rest of her group later on? I can only assume that my thane leads a band of mercenaries, otherwise how else would we clear out two bandit hideouts? I can't wait to meet her team!

 

Dear Diary,

No word on her team. Today was a very strange day. I'm still not entirely sure what happened. We spent all day buying every healing potion in the city. And arrows. So many arrows.... Then tonight she told me I was very loud (fair enough, I'm not trained for stealth) and that I should wait for her. After two hours, she came back with a sack full of even more potions. I'm glad she has the Hammerspace Inventory Pack, or else we could never carry them all. She gave me one too, which will be very helpful.

 

Dear Diary,

We are journeying towards the first bandit nest. Maybe her team will meet us there?

 

Dear Diary,

Her team did not meet us there because she does not have one. Somehow, we cleared it all out by ourselves. SOMEHOW. I am writing this while she is rifling through the bandit's lair for loot. She's currently agonizing over whether or not to take a greatsword. Something about not having the enchantment, but it being heavy? Anyways, we worked our way through the lair, sneaking all the way, and killed them all in little groups. I still can't believe they're all dead. We only pulled through because my thane is very, very ... skilled. That is the only way I can describe it. Skill. And perhaps a certain amount of healthy enthusiasm. She may be a priest, since she knows healing spells, but she will not deny or confirm this.

 

Dear Diary,

My thane does not believe in sleep. We set out immediately for the next bandit lair and reached it in a few hours of forced jogging. My thane has a great deal of energy. Without my training, there's no way I could keep up! We've already cleared out the second lair and she is looting. She really, really likes looting. I don't know whether she likes fighting or looting more. By the way, I ended up carrying the greatsword mentioned earlier. I didn't think it was that heavy, but then again I'm much stronger than she is. I've decided that the reason my thane was able to accomplish this is because of her skill mixed with her complete disregard for any kind of danger.

 

Dear Diary,

After more jogging, we arrived back in Whiterun. Turns out she already had the enchantment the whole time. I am going to keep a log of all the enchantments and potion recipes she knows to prevent this from happening again. At least she was pleased with the gold she got from selling it to Fernegar. As I am writing this she is using Adrianne's smelter to melt a bunch of candlesticks into silver bars. I'm trying really hard not to think about where she got them.

Dear Diary,

The silver bars were made into jewelry with the gems we found in the bandit lairs. The jewelry was then turned into money, which was then turned into a house! She bought a house in Whiterun! I can't wait to help her furnish it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, all comments will be answered in character as Lydia. If you want her thane (or future companions once they arrive) to answer, be sure to specify.

Dear Diary,

My thane has purchased Breezehome, and we are starting to fill it with furniture. We first entered it today and were hit with a faceful of cobwebs. My thane let out the most horrible wail I've ever heard and I reflexively drew my sword before I realized that she was upset about the cobwebs stuck in her fur. It took half an hour to get them all off, and she sniffled the whole time. Note to self: my thane prefers to be clean at all times. While she went out to acquire some furniture and I dusted the whole house. No more cobwebs. I wonder where she'll get the furniture. Maybe from the general goods store?

 

Dear Diary,

My thane has bought a whole bunch of beautiful furniture. We ended up filling Breezehome in a single day! I have never seen anyone so determined. Tomorrow, we're heading out on a mission of some kind. 

Addendum: While gathering supplies, I noticed that some of the shops and taverns are missing a suspicious amount of furniture. I think that my thane has very sticky fingers, but what can I do? It's my duty to guard her, not judge her actions. Maybe it's worth it if the thefts are able to help her complete this mission? Although my thane will not tell me what the mission is, she insists that it's very important. Are we going to see the Graybeards? I can't wait!

 

Dear Diary,

If we are going to High Hrothgar, we're taking a very interesting route. We appear to be going in the opposite direction. I thought we were lost until my thane crouched down suddenly and pointed to a cave up ahead. She seemed far too excited about this. I tried to tell her that it was probably just some bandits or animals in there, she got even more excited and insisted we go inside. Spiders. So many spiders. 

 

Dear Diary,

Apparently there is no mission. There is only exploring. I think my thane only takes on jobs so she has an excuse to visit particularly dangerous areas. We ran across a closed off mine today. As soon as we heard the miners saying that it would take a whole troop of soldiers to clear it, she perked up immediately. Turns out my thane qualifies as a troop of soldiers. It is a joy to watch her in combat. She did make off with a healthy amount of quicksilver, and some pickaxes for who knows why, but the miners were so happy it's hard for me to complain about the theft. Even though I never foresaw carrying twenty pounds of quicksilver. Note to self: my thane does not like heavy things. 

 

Dear Diary,

We have left Whiterun and entered Hjaalmarch. It is a struggle to keep up with my thane because I am not a very strong swimmer. She, on the other hand, is. She has no trouble sloshing through waist high pits of water. I've always been nervous in water ever since I fell into those ridiculous pools by the stairs up to Dragonreach. I nearly drowned before a passing guard fished me out and ever since then, I've tried not to submerge myself. And to think it all happened because the jarl loves salmon so much. Can't he just order it in? 

 

Dear Diary,

Things are strange here in Hjaalmarch. We have reached Morthal and it's giving me the creeps. The people aren't very friendly at all. One of the guards called my thane a sneak-thief! My thane had to restrain me. Apparently she does not mind the racial slurs, even though they make my blood boil on her behalf. She winked at me and said that she liked it when people looked down on her because it made it so much easier to trick them. She's much more devious than I realized. Still, I hope we leave soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

I really don't like this place. It's creepy, to say the least. My thane has gotten herself involved in a mystery about a burned down house. We met a ghost. A ghost! I knew they existed, but I've never actually seen one before. My thane wasn't fazed at all, and ended up chatting with the ghost of a young girl that had burned alive. has she met ghosts before? She's so casual about everything. I wonder what sort of life she's led? Tonight, we're heading out to find the ghost child. We're playing hide or seek? Honestly, I've decided to just go with it. 

Addendum: vampires. This place has vampires. We found the kid's coffin and a crazy vampire lady. Vampires. I hope this isn't how most of our journeys will go. Why did we come here in the first place?

 

Dear Diary,

We tracked down the vampire who sired crazy lady vamp and killed her. Also her thrall. I hope Hroggar wasn't this places only lumberjack because if he was, we just totaled their economy. Oops. We returned to the jarl to get our payment, and were told to hunt down the vamp that sired the vamp we just killed. My thane is currently putting a mob together. Oh, joy.

Addendum: Our mob was a dismal failure. Once we reached the vamp's lair, it disintegrated. It's like they suddenly became aware that they had no levels in combat skills. That's what happens when you only take perks in Speech and Alchemy. Ah, well. We did kill the vamp, though and got a fair sum. Maybe we can leave!

 

Dear Diary,

Still in Morthal. My thane decided to investigate the mage (Falion) that lives here. I'm not sure why. She just perked up at breakfast and announced that we were doing it. 'Investigating' means breaking into his house. Falion was not happy. Of course, my thane befriended him immediately. The two are laughing and swapping potion recipes as I write.

 

Dear Diary,

I hate Morthal so much. It's the worst place in Skyrim. Ancestors take me! The jarl was so pleased with my thane's work that she appointed her thane of Hjaalmarch. Argh! She has another housecarl!!!!! Stupid Valdimar with his fancy magic. I was here first, and he better bow to my authority. It's my job to serve my thane, not his. Jerk. Valdimar is the worst for these reasons: he's here, he knows stupid, fancy healing magic which made my thane very happy, he is also trained in One-Handed and Heavy Armour so he can also tank if needed. I'm the tank here, not him. He's not even a good off-healer because he can only heal himself for some reason due to 'coding.' Ugh.

He's also polite and enthusiastic and stuff. He's got that suaveness a good housecarl is supposed to have. I already know I have a temper, I don't need Valdimar being better than me! Argh! This is so frustrating. I hope he can't keep up. I'm glad that my thane has accomplished so much, because she deserves it. I just wish that Valdimar wasn't here.

 

Dear Diary,

We fast traveled back to Whiterun. My thane set off to sell her loot/steal at various stores. I showed Valdimar ~~my~~ our thane's home. He made some comment on cleanliness (something about it being very tidy) and somehow we ended up in a cleaning competition. The place practically glitters, the cutlery is polished and we have enough firewood to last us through siege. I think it's safe to say I won this contest. Ha! I don't know why I was worried. Clearly, my thane will realize that I am a far superior housecarl than Valdimar. My thane was exceptionally pleased when she came home. I had prepared a lovely meal for her which she greatly enjoyed. I must say, I timed it perfectly. It was ready just as she came through the door. Ha! Beat that, Valdimar!

Addendum: Valdimar did not realize we were competing and told me how pleased he was to be working beside me to take care of our thane. Then he wished me good night and went to bed, adding that he hoped I had lovely dreams. He even smiled. Ass.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the journal of Valdimar.

Dear Diary,

 ~~My thane~~ Dar'Rayya got a letter today. As ~~my thane~~ Dar'Rayya has asked me to use her name when I'm talking to her, I'm trying to do the same thing in my journal. I'm hoping it'll get easier with time. She is incredible. There are no words to describe how amazing she is. She's even the Dragonborn! I'm blessed to be her housecarl. I'm sure my companion, Lydia, must feel the same. Lydia is also amazing. She's so dedicated and strong. It's a joy to watch her. I think she's a bit irritated at me, though, but I'm not sure why. Maybe she distrusts magic? 

 

Dear Diary,

We're heading out to Falkreath. It's occurred to me that I've never actually been out of Morthal before. I mean, I've done patrols and things like that, but I never went too far away from the city. It's very different out here. I haven't stepped in a puddle all day! At one point today,  ~~My~~ Dar'Rayya told Lydia and me to wait. She ran down the road and came back leading some horses. I did my best to ignore the nobleman running after her, crying out, "Horse thief! Come back!" Once we were galloping away, she neatly turned around and knocked an arrow. I didn't look backwards. Lydia was watching me very carefully. She didn't seem all that disturbed. I, however, am shocked. 

I'm following a good person, right?

 

Dear Diary,

I am not following a good person. Turns out that the letter she got earlier was a summons from the jarl of Falkreath. Normally, this would be great. It's not great when the jarl says that he's getting a cut from some bandits nearby and they've stopped paying him. Doesn't he realize those bandits are robbing his people? He wanted Dar'Rayya to kill them, an impossible task, and in return he'd give her a plot of land. She agreed. I'm following a criminal!

 

Dear Diary,

I am trying not to show all my panicking. I'm keeping it all inside. Lydia is fine. How can she be fine? I don't get it. Dar'Rayya, on the other hand, is downright cheerful. I'm not sure why. We're going to our deaths.

 

Dear Diary,

We cleared out the bandits. I don't even know how. I don't even think Lydia and I were all that much help. I mean, we contributed, but Dar'Rayya's a damn monster on the battlefield. She looked... I don't know... Alive? She is pleased with the day's work. During dinner, I asked her if she was going to accept the land. Dar'Rayya made a mrring sound (that's really the only way I can describe it) and said, "Of course. Khajiit has done a good thing in killing those bandits. A good deed deserves a reward, does it not?" Lydia and I were both startled. I know Lydia was startled because she dropped her fork. It's good to know that she was panicking on the inside too.

I have a lot to think about tonight.

 

Dear Diary,

Dar'Rayya has accepted the land and we are going there next. Honestly, I'm still a bit conflicted. We killed some bandits, which is always good. Those men hurt a lot of people and would have done even more damage if we'd left them alone. On the other hand, we helped a corrupt jarl gain more power. Does it all balance out in the end? Dar'Rayya seems to think so. I'm not entirely sure, but I'm willing to go along. I mean, it's better than not doing anything, right?


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

I was hoping that the plot of land would have some construction work started already. Oddly enough, there is a stable but no house to go with it. That seems pretty backwards to me. What's the point of just building a stable in the middle of the woodlands? My thane seemed quite pleased though. She stalked around trying to figure out dimensions and things. She must have some experience building houses, but I don't know where she could have learned such a thing. I'm lucky to be serving a thane with such diverse talents.

Dear Diary,

I was wrong. My thane has no idea how to build a house. She found a book lying around describing some ideas and decided that she could build a house based on the pictures in the book. It's not a guidebook. Judging by the fact that she flipped it around a bit before managing to hold it the right way, I'm not even sure she can read it. She's still determined to build her own house though. Valdimar is asking whether or not we should hire some workers to do it. My thane is exploding into laughter. I'm guessing the answer is no.

Dear Diary,

My thane has had us running around gathering supplies for the past few days. We have a bunch of clay, stone and nails now, but no wood. My thane is sure that she smelt cut wood nearby, so there might be a lumbermill in the area. Maybe we can make a deal with them.

Dear Diary,

Something seems off about the millers. They only work at night for some reason and have no cooking supplies in their house. Valdimar turned white when he saw them and whispered to me that he thought they were vampires. Which is ridiculous. I've never heard of a vampire becoming a miller. My thane managed to cut a deal with them to get a frankly alarming amount of lumber shipped over. I still don't know how we're going to build the house though.


End file.
